Thursday, February 10, 2011

Bravery Day

I've been following a blog for quite some time now. She is Shannon, aka. Flower Patch Farmgirl. You really need to visit her blog, there's no reason for me to repeat anything to you, I wouldn't do it justice. She is an amazing writer who is able to convey so much through her words. Read back a couple of days, oh and give yourself some time, trust me you'll be there awhile. Trust me again... this post will make a lot more sense if you click on that link first.

Where to start. If you've noticed I haven't been to wordy in my posts of late. Just pictures, little explanation, nothing newsy. In fact, the other night at a Super Bowl party, one of you-my lovely followers, and my friend, noticed this little factoid and asked me about it. I think I said something like, I know, I know I'll work on that. You let me off the hook with a hug and an invite for a meal. I was clearly not feeling well that night.

Yes, it's true there is some stress in my life right now. I think I'm building my very own, personal, concrete bunker. Or maybe it's more like a pressure cooker, or possibly a panic room, do you get where I'm goin' here. Let me give you a hint, IT ISN'T GOOD.

I'm normally pretty easy going, a real stop and smell the flowers, hey let's have a donut kind of girl. But frankly, lately, raving lunatic is the word that comes to mind. If you don't believe me, I'll invite you over to see the box of broken things that is starting to collect in my laundry room. That's right, I'm throwing inanimate objects, at least so far they are inanimate. There are a lot of things that I'm discovering about myself lately.

1.) I'm really not all that patient. I thought I was, or maybe I used to be, but no.
2.) I can build unrealistic worlds and live there quite comfortably......for a little while anyway.
3.) I don't know how to handle the pressures of being a pastors wife, there I said it.
4.) I don't know how to handle the pressure of a good many things.
5.) Do I fear failure, or do I set myself up for failure? take your pick, it's bad either way.
6.) I have pmdd. I hate it. Feels like my body and my mind have betrayed me. I need to get help.
7.) Number six is probably a HUGE part of my problems right now, I'm confident that can be fixed. No worries. My cell phone however-can't be fixed, don't ever throw one of those. It's expensive. That doesn't make your husband very happy. Oh, and remember to thank your bff for giving you their very nice old phone, thus unknowingly rescuing you from said husband. Timing is everything people.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because it's Bravery Day. Because I'm joining you, my blog friends, in saying that I have no energy to handle my life on my own. Some of you are dealing with cancer, infertility, divorce, loneliness, bitterness, how do I know this? Because someone cared to ask you, and you, in an unspoken alliance with others like you and our all knowing, all powerful God decided to be brave and speak up. And because of that, someone is praying for you today, and I know someone is praying for me today, because she told me she was and I believe her. Doesn't that make a difference to you? It does to me. I have expectations today. I believe God is going to help me release the pressure on my self imposed cooker. He's going to permanently destroy that stinkin valve so that I can no longer crank up the heat. I'm going to have a short but loud discussion with satan about him using my pot to cook his supper in. It's not happening anymore..... Wow, I like Bravery Day.

Thanks Shannan, and everybody that's being brave today, tomorrow and for the duration, these pictures are for you. Oh, and I love you more than Donuts.


  1. Wow! What kind of friend am I that I didn't know you were struggling so much? Sorry I haven't been more in tune with you. You are an amazing friend -- one I cherish like you'll never know and probably like I've never really told you, but should have. Please know you are loved by many, including me. I am blessed to call you friend!

  2. Oh Beautiful One! Your 'realness' just added to your beauty. Your honesty opens the door to HOPE! Your bravery inspires me yet again!

    All I can say is what God gave me this week as I was having a pretty similar conversation with Him. It's from John 3 in the Message.
    "anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is."

    It is truly a God-work in you!
    I'm praying too!
    Love you!